


Today was Photo Day

by Seito



Category: Katekyou Hitman Reborn!
Genre: Crack, Gen, Humor, Photography, Pictures
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-17
Updated: 2018-11-17
Packaged: 2019-08-24 21:44:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16648385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Seito/pseuds/Seito
Summary: Today was Photo Day.Squalo fucking hated Photo Day. It was a fucking pain in the ass because for whatever reason,hebecame the fucking sane person who had to hunt down everyone. The mooks were easy enough. They could follow orders. No, the issue was hisfellow officers and shitty boss.“IT’S PHOTO DAY!!” Lussuria burst through the double doors, his feather boa swinging.





	Today was Photo Day

**Author's Note:**

> [inspired by this tumblr post](http://seitosokusha.tumblr.com/post/172679919593/my-favorite-official-khr-art-category-is-the-varia)

Today was Photo Day.

Squalo fucking hated Photo Day. It was a fucking pain in the ass because for whatever reason, _he_ became the fucking sane person who had to hunt down everyone. The mooks were easy enough. They could follow orders. No, the issue was his _fellow officers and shitty boss_.

“IT’S PHOTO DAY!!” Lussuria burst through the double doors, his feather boa swinging.

Squalo looked pained. Lussuria was the only who actually looked forward Photo Day. Lussuria was also the one who always tried to convince him that group photos were a thing and Squalo did not need that fucking headache.

“Let’s start off with a group photo!!” Lussuria said.

“No.”

“But-”

“No.”

Lussuria pouted. Squalo resisted the urge to slam his head into his hand. Cut him down now. This headache would not be worth it.

“Where’s my payment?” Mammon floated into the room, hand sticking out.

Squalo dropped a check into the waiting hand. “It gets fucking voided if the pictures don’t come out perfect.”

Mammon scoffed, mouth opened to something scathing before Lussuria grabbed them. “SMILE!” Lussuria said, snapping a picture.

Mammon twitched, turning back to Squalo.

“Fuck no,” Squalo said, cutting off the oncoming sentence. “That was not a fucking official photo for the records. That’s just Lussuria being Lussuria. You do not get to leave.”

“I’m charging more to having to deal with Lussuria,” Mammon said.

“It’ll come out from Lussuria’s paycheck,” Squalo agreed.

Levi showed up next, properly wearing his uniform. This, here, was why Squalo liked Levi enough not to kill the man under normal circumstances. He was the only one who fucking followed instructions on Photo Day.

"Where’s Boss?” Levi asked, looking around.

“Clearly not here, shithead,” Squalo said. In fact, Xanxus was probably fucking asleep. Squalo was going to have break down doors, wasn’t he?

“GROUP PHOTO!” Lussuria proceeded to tackle Levi with Mammon, the flash of a camera going off.

Squalo pinched the bridge of his nose and left the room. The last two members were going to be a pain. With a flick of his wrist, his sword unsheathed and he sliced down Bel’s door. He dodged the first trap of raining daggers. “ Scontro di Squalo!” he shouted, destroying the remaining trap.

He stomped over to Bel’s bed, hauling the blond up. “VOIIIII WAKE THE FUCK UP!!” he shouted.

“Noisy!” Bel whined, lashing out with a knife.

Squalo deflected it with his sword and dragged him out of bed. “Today’s Photo Day and no one, not even you gets out it.”

“I shouldn’t have to because I’m a Prince!” Bel shouted.

“Because you’re a prince you should be used it!” Squalo flung open the door and threw Bel at Lussuria who pounced. Thank the fuck for Lussuria’s insistence for group photos. Both Levi and Mammon glared at Squalo, probably for leaving them with Lussuria. It looked like there was makeup involved. Squalo flipped them off and left. It wasn’t his problem.

He reached Xanxus’ room and sliced it down, ducking as a Sky Flame Bullet went over his head. “VOII YOU SHITTY BOSS. IF YOU’RE AWAKE ENOUGH TO FIRE AT ME, YOU’RE AWAKE ENOUGH TO TAKE A FUCKING PICTURE!”

Xanxus’ responses, predictably, was to fire another two bullets. Squalo grit his teeth. He had prepared for this. “Chateau Mouton Rothschild 2010 Red Wine for you if fucking get dressed and actually take the fucking photo,” Squalo said.

When all else fails, bribe.

Xanxus paused his shooting, sitting up in his bed. “Fine, get the fuck out trash.”

Satisfied, Squalo left, knowing the price of good wine would get Xanxus to show up.

A chill went down Squalo’s spine. He was forgetting something. Something very important. It had to do with the security level, but he wasn’t sure. It was Photo Day, not their zombie apocalypse training.

He shrug it off. It couldn’t be that important. As long as everyone showed up, that all that fucking matter. He couldn’t wait until today was ever.

Fucking Photo Day.

-.-.-

It was only after that Squalo remembered what he had forgotten. He scowled, glaring at the photo in his hand. He should have seen this coming, should raised security to the fucking highest level.

"Sometimes I forget you were fucking raised by Reborn,“ Squalo said. He threw the photos at Dino. "And then you do shit like this."

Dino grinned, flipping through the photos. Every single one had Dino photobombing in the background. Hours of work, coordination and dragging the unwilling to take photos, ruined because Squalo had forgotten to bar Dino from entering the Varia’s Mansion today!

"Where the fuck did you even come from? Don’t you have your own famiglia to run!!” Squalo shouted.

Dino’s smile just grew wider. “I have to keep you on your toes."

Fucking Photo Day.

**Author's Note:**

> please leave a review on your way out


End file.
